Chaucer: The Miller's Tale

The Summary
     My absolute favorite part of Chaucer's Miller's Tale is the Surgeon's general warning the Miller gives before he tells his tale, "Hey everybody, I'm drunk and can't be held accountable. Just a heads up."
     What a way to follow a super long story told by a knight.
     This classy tale starts with Nicholas, an oxford student astrologist. He lives with John, an incredibly possessive older man, and his sexy young wife, Alison.  Alison has several admirers: Nicholas her roomate, and Absolon, a creep lonely clerk from down the road. While the carpenter is away, Nicholas cries his way into Alison's undergarments, after reassuring her that he can outwit her cuckold of a husband. Meanwhile, Absolon tries to seduce Alison with money, gifts, and poorly sung love songs, but she just doesn't return the affection (mainly because it's focused on ol' Nick). Alison and Nicholas get tired of sneaking around, and decide that they want to spend a whole debaucherous evening together.

night of roof-boats, ass-kissing, and flatulance

      Nick pretends to be sick for several days, eventually causing John to wander up to his room to make sure the student isn't dead. Instead, Nicholas tells John that God gave him a vision of a flood, and that he better fasten three tubs to the roof or crap will get ugly... quick. John builds the tubs, and immediately falls asleep from exhaustion (Gilgamesh style), leaving Alison and Nicholas to romp around the house unsupervised. Absolon remembers that he's in the story, and knocks on the window demanding a kiss. Alison tells him that she loves another and to go away, and when his persistence wins she offers him a kiss in the dark... on her ass. With tongue (ew). Like ten year-olds, Alison and Nicholas tumble into giggles and Absolon is left with shame,  a desperate need to brush his teeth, and the desire for REVENGE! He goes to his neighbor blacksmith and picks up a red-hot field plowing piece for no suspicious activity at all. Absolon heads back to the house where Nicholas' bum is now hanging out the window when he farts incredibly loudly right in Absolon's face. To get back at him, Absolon brands Nick with the molten metal, who begins to cry and carry on quite loudly; loud enough to wake up sleeping John from his roof-boat. John believes the flood is here, chops the rope, crashes to the ground and breaks him arm. The townspeople wake up from all the noisy noise, and Allison and Nicholas point their fingers at John and tell everyone he's crazy.
      He did just break his own arm from falling out of a roof-boat... the townspeople need little convincing.
    In the end, the carpenter's wife is made a cuckold, Absolon does get to kiss Alison['s arse], Nicholas will have a hard time wearing pants, and the Miller narrator wishes that, "God save all the company!"

Reflection
    There is a huge contrast between the two tales told back to back by Chaucer. In Knight's Tale, there is a solid love triangle that is supported by honor, respect for the beloved woman, and almost worshipful ambiance... The Miller's Tale has none of those traits. Emily is almost deity like in her descriptions, ethereal, a symbol of purity that does not want to spoil her honor with a sanctified marriage. Even after her three day marriage, she mourns for seven or eight years until she marries again. Alison on the other hand, her body is compared to a weasel, the narrator goes into detail on what covers her loins, and the reader visually looks up and down her described body. Instead of being an abstract symbol of beauty to wage war over, Alison is real, wears aprons, and is young and horny.
In comparison, The Miller's Tale makes the noble long war of the Knight's tale into a farce. The gentleman who grabs Alison by the "queynte" gets the girl, and the man, Absolon, who sings and gives money and tries an honest seduction gets to kiss a butt and gets farted on.