Chaucer's Wife of Bath

Chaucer's Wife of Bath

Summary:

Modern wife of Bath

     The character Wife of Bath makes me think of one of those craggy old women who sit at the end of a bar and tell tales of the seventeen husbands they've widowed, the 116 kids they've raised, and all the advice and tales in between that got her right to the barstool she's sitting on. I imagine this modern version has bright red lipstick, tight leopard pants, no chance of a bra, and she's sipping long island iced teas continuing the search for lucky husband number next.

     In Chaucer's tale, the audience (both the fellow listeners of the tale, and the reader's of Chaucer's work) is presented this woman, an older woman, who begins an incredibly long prologue about her life. She is not a virgin, she's been married five times (the first three were old and died quick, and her last was a terrible wife beater who was quite talented at "evening" activities), she's a sensual sexual person, and the whole "virginal" scene doesn't really work for her. Oh, and she's on the market for husband #6.

You wouldn't want to be her sixth husband?

   Like the start of the Miller's tale, Chaucer starts with a disclaimer: all of this is for fun! If you're offended, don't look at me... I'm just here telling you what they said.... [and he backs behind the curtain and let's the wife tell the tale].
     A knight sees a beautiful chick walk by and decides to rape her. She's not too happy about it and he's dragged to court where people shake their heads sadly and decide to kill until the women of the court speak up and say, "Send this rude raper out for a year and one day to ask every woman he meet's what women want (Not the Mel Gibson movie)." Off on a quest he goes, and talks to women (who really don't have any moral compunctions about answering his question) who tell him that women really want sex, money, awesome hair, great skin, etc. At the end of his year, he's desperate and about to go back to court sad-handed when he runs into a group of women who turn into just one old crone. She tells him that she can save his life because she knows the answer, but he has to promise his hand in marriage. he agrees, they go to court, and the old woman reveals that the answer to what women want is power in a marriage. She drops onto her knee, proposes marriage, and the knight throws up in his mouth. He begs her to take all his cash, but she has him gridlocked and they get hitched. At home, the woman finally asks the brooding knight why he's miserable, and he tells her that doesn't want to be married to an ugly hag. Instead of being offended, she gives him a choice: would he rather have an ugly woman who is loyal, or a beautiful young woman who will make him a cuckhold. The knight, in his first awesome moment of the story says, "You pick what's best for you."
   So of course, she turns into a hot, young, loyal wife and they live happily ever after.